Imprinted Memories, a shattered me

As the hours flicker on by my skin burns with the memories. Tremors of pain course through my body, remembering things I do wish that it would forget. Will I ever be able to rest in peace? Will the nightmares haunt me for as long as I take breathe? Today is just another day, a step into the future. Why must my mind and body linger in the past? Anchoring me in a place I wish to flee. I want to grow, I desire to change and no longer remain. I must push forward, beyond the shame. I just wish I didn’t feel so alone tonight. That this darkness would stop calling out to me. Can I stand strong through it til the end?

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Love is Light

I could dance forever, with you by my side. They said love is a broken broken bottle, shards shredding your soul. Does it really break us? Is that even love? Love gives, everything to survive this brokenness. This is what I have found from you and me. The light has shown a little so brightly in our hearts even in the darkest hours. Be a beam to clear a path for the world to see. True love is more than what you want, it is what you give.

A War Waged Unprepared

I stole myself away before there was nothing left to take.

My heart lay in shattered ruins, the once beautiful city so bright.

Brittle, broken shards of life lingered at my feet.

My soul hung from a tree, the rope drown tightly about the life force.

Is that gruesome thing by the city gates the heart which once rested within my breast?

How could I have let this carnage take place here?

Why was there nothing to defend the most delicate of places there?

I was not prepared to live in the dark and tangled world of bleak despair.

The bloody battle raged for years with nothing I could do.

Tools needed to prepare oneself for such a war I did not have.

But now I am here, in the midst of this ruined city, surrendered.

To my maker, the founder of my foundation.

A hope beyond this refuge pile that seemingly continues grow.

With the maker of beauty in progress I know the future is bright.

I know for sure that something full of light is on the way.

After all this blackness consume, to be refreshed is inspiring.

One day I will find myself shiny and new.

All that I will know shall be of he who has made me whole.

The Haunting Relm

Awakened with fear on my breath, sweat caresses my entire body. My heart rapidly beats as I lie here trying to distinguish reality from fiction. The horrors in my mind unwind around me, falling away in to falsehood. Yet, a shake to my core. The truth is, it may not have been real, but I was there, living that pain and terror. I cannot shake the memories that threaten to consume. Just when you think you are safe, when you can confront the nightmarish past…it rips into your flesh, as a fresh wound. I continue to tremble through each moment I remain awake, fearing sleep, even more so, afraid to face the day. Even when I am awake I can feel the cold chill creeping up my spine. Will these haunting’s ever leave? Or chase me till eternity?

The Flower You Gave

Today you placed a flower upon my grave.

It was the first flower that you ever gave.

How sad, that today would be that day when gifts were received.

That very hour I would no longer remain as believed.

From this world I was taken within a shard of time,

I have vanished completely with no real reason or rhyme.

Can you ever forgive me for not saying goodbye,

For ever moment I was given breath you weren’t meant to cry.

To live, to love joyously within my embrace.

Life did send me upon a merrily, evil chase.

Even when pain in my depths I could hardly grin and bear,

You stood closet to me with out any fear.

Now, everything else has come much to late,

Our time is up, I’m sorry but there is no debate.

I am gone, all that is left of me in this place are my remains,

Flesh and bone with fade away leaving nothing but a stain. 

I wish you had noticed I was disappearing

No one took any notice that I was completely despairing.

Because you waited to reach out, to try to touch me.

At this very point in time it is no longer meant to be.

Our Love Remains, Binding

If I had loved another, any other but you, I would not have loved at all. No this love of you is what has kept me alive! Living in the space of time. Never alone, even when we are miles apart, we are next to each others hearts. Can I not hear your breathing, your voice in my head. My mind is overwhelmed by your essence in each moment you are around. Yes my Love, only you could it be, to be in my life, my heart, my soul entwined. Each year that passes, never does it wane, but stronger still. Like a tree taking root to remain, our has too, for life and divine shall hold us in this place. Nothing shall shake this love in, never will it move, firmly founded, strength in standing, together as one we shall always be.

Digging Our Own Grave

And in the filthy mire he did find me, broken and alone. Gone away I had wandered, dying on my own. Life was far from any place I ever wanted to remain. Being alive I truly did not want to be. In darkness, in scum I did lie, covered in grime. To buried in depths of perpetual suffering, always dying. That is what I had resigned myself to, that morbid place. Something more I was made to live, something greater. Tis true my story was nothing but dirt and shame, yet this amazing grace did save. Loved, I am truly loved, from this I will surely live.

Pain may be there, but there is more

How do you make friends with yesterday’s sorrows

Where does your past pains fit in to today

For I can tell you right now, in this very moment

All of those things from back then haven’t gone away

If I had to say they have definitely remained here

Even when the time they had come has moved on

Each memory remains fresh as if it continues forward

Yes the pain I feel right this very second is from long ago

Is just I that can not seem to let these moments go

Might the reason they haunt me be that I do know

Could this hurt just be flashes replaying in my head

That it truly is all over in the past out is dead

The only remains are those I keep locked in my brain

Why does that happen for me to keep being sad

I feel as the being I am has completely gone mad

Please believe me when I say I don’t enjoy the shame

To remember over and over again reach horror

That the terrors inside I would like to shed

To hold only joyful leave in these shaking hands

Broken I have been since the birth of my soul

Shattered I am from all those life encounters

But I will not stop living as long as life I do breath

And hope in the morning from love I am given reach morn I wake

Not alone to fight off the shadows each and every night

Yes I could keep going in spite of the deep engrained hurt

I’ll keep going forward keep looking up for life

As long as he holds me I can breath with relief

For if tomorrow’s comes I know he holds the plans

Only In The Light

The liquid streams of pain flowed freely from those grey, green pools staring straight through me. Each drop a sorrow filled memory she was unable to be freed from. Her heart ached with the need for warmth, truth, hope. She wanted to know love in its truest form. So tired of the darkness weeping her name every night sleep slipped away from her. Only in the light could she find comfort from her constant fears. Only there would she ever find freedom from the bindings that kept her from not only living but thriving. Her hope was that He is faithful, the truth was He is Love. Here, right here in His arms will she finally find who she was created to be.

When Facing Darkness Today

Have you ever stood at the edge

Ready to jump

Spring out of fear into darkness

Staring into the abyss

From having just come back

After having looked into it


A sharp knowledge within

Facing death

He was always so close by

I am a wreck to admit

Him I do miss

The shadows I fear

Always fear

Will it be fading

The sorrow eating at me

It is sad to know

I still have this dream

To fade away

From this reality

Such a strong pull

Trying to will me to

Taking me back

Into the arms of blackness


To the bleakness

Please dear Love

Hope do sing

Hold me tighter

Do not let it take me

I won’t break again

I want joy

To live in love

All surrounding

I need to live

And dream of brighter days

I really don’t

Want to fade today

Like water on stone

Washed away

Be my anchor hold

Keep me close

To suffer through

Make it brighter

My load much lighter

This burden I bear

To you try to release

Let me be free