Where the Pain could take me

If I would have known my future

I would have asked to not be born

Beg to be aborted

I know that sounds sick

Maybe a little demented

Life has twisted my perception of it

At least that is how I could feel

The way my thoughts try to wander

But in truth

Life is precious and dear

I have been given so much

Even through the raving storms

Inches upon inches of rain

When I look back at all the pain

I wonder how I made it

I try to stay away

Without running far in the other direction

Stay in the present

Be in this place right here

Trauma and ranges of fear haunt me

Living is a hard feet to accomplish

Each day a trial

But I wake up

I get up and move

My voice is weak to this day

Barely audible above life’s static

I am here

Depending on something greater

To more than get me by

I hope one day I will live more

Living to thrive

That is what I believe

On the other side of it all

No more

Only brighter

Live life lighter Today

For that is all I really have


What In The World

This world has little to offer me

These thoughts has been breeding deeply

Within me I feel this truth

There are many tempting things

Materialism is running rampant

Always wanting what we think we need

I do give in way to often

The next best technology teaching me

A great sweater warming while fashionable

I am however trying to not be influenced

Not by what is the latest hot topic

I fall victim to the desires growing by my need to express

Who am I and what does that mean

How can I show what that is

I have begun to realize that fact

Buying things that reflect the inner you is a way

But there are far better

More simple yet profoundly freeing

In all the fury of the past storms

I have realized less is so much more

Less to cling to holding you down

Where in this world do I belong

Slowly with each passing moment I know

I do not belong to this world

And in reality I really do not want to

Anything beautiful and great about it

Was given to it by it’s creator

Everything else is just not worth it


One Art

Everything you see,

All reflecting me

Showing you bits and pieces

The entirety of what makes me

Drawn with delicate hands

Marred by bitter times

Written in dark thoughts

But hope was always an underline

Sad filled dreams

Never a light to be seen

Highly crafted sculptor

Made of finely filtered material

Created from immense pressure

Unknown conditions

One Art

By one Soul

All of my Heart

This is me

I am way more than what you see

Truly Priceless

Now is Not to Late

Life is to short to wait, to think that there will be a tomorrow,

But right now, it isn’t to late.

There is never enough hours in the day to keep up with the daily needs,

But right now, you have the time.

Life is to short to be wasted on trivial matters,

But right now, you can make a change.

Don’t make mistakes, unless you are willing to learn from them,

So right now, learn, change, grow.

Going through life living only in the pain, don’t waste the joy,

So right now, live in love.

Be set free from the burnt and broken life,

Fly willingly into an open sky,

Let us dance to a tune hope and life.

Now is the the time to make life a place worth living,

Live now.

Midnight Ponders, Pasts and Purposes

The past

The present

Is it all but a dream

Or more

A nightmare

All forlorn


Life is not to be



This I face


Face I must

I will

To morrow

Life lived




Did Not Know

Did you know that I did not know

Would you believe the words I say

Could you understand the place I was

In the darkness

In the pain

Surrounded by shame

Would it matter to you

My truth

The truth

Can you stand to look past the lies

Search the path not shown

Will you see beyond delusion

The sadness behind those eyes

Hidden by smiles

Shared with no one

Fear can be all consuming

That is the life remaining

After shattered dreams debilitating

Tell me


How do we

How do I

Suffering is the price


Like drifting desert sands

My soul

Each moment

Left with what



Beautiful Curse

To have beauty in the world of mortals is to bare a curse

A curse that crushes

It can brand the souls tainted

Bubbling up with dark intentions

Twisting, tangled heart burns with evil deeds undone

The world labels this as charm, seduction

Claiming it like a desired prize



Others who are given the name of beautiful may be broken

To carry the curse without wisdom can be treacherous

Life claimed, marked

The wolves of the world will devour them

Cause the broken to be lost or crumble

Eternally broken

The curse of the outward beauty can only be countered something of the divine

Inner beauty created, crafted by love true hand

Then and only then will it be broken

Null en void

The curse can no longer be in control

Only then can you ever live freely in who you are

Be who you were meant to truly be

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Did You Dare

Dare to say you know the heart of one, of a broken being?

A soul shattered

Do know the dreams of one such creature?

I am sure you never you never really cared, if even at all…

As one lies lonely upon the frozen ground

Nothing left to live for

No moment to be cherished

As I lie bleeding from my crown

Yes, can you dare say you are a familiar with this picture

This withering pain

Why would you

Show mercy to the shame

Alas, in this loneliness I did remain

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I Won’t Let You Define Me

I didn’t know my worth or even understand that meaning

What am, who am and what did that mean

To me I believe, whole-heartedly to be a nothing in this something world

Broken and shamed, to forever be maimed

To be used up by the first person to capture me I was subconsciously taught

No worth to be bought, only stolen and shredded

Yes, from as far back as I can remember, to beyond my younger years, this was my belief system

Forever a burden as long as I kept breathing

And as I grew most others I met would confirm those beliefs

Infesting my mind and my heart with such darkness

Broken and brittle, living as the undeserving victim

How disgusting a life not lived, may have been beaten and shattered

But a choice I finally made to no longer be battered

To surrender my life to the One living higher

To Love eternal it did matter, my life in shambles

Don’t be a victim, to invite in sorrow and sadness

My beloved you are, so your worth is beyond what you see or may ever believe

Don’t choose to believe all the lies surrounding

Be free and alive, living life to thrive

For the past, those shadows will only define you as you let them

Die to darkness and thrive in the light of each morning

For your days lost in pain will no longer rule your living

Nothing done to me has defined me, but may be a blessing to mold me

Each broken thing can now be rebuilt on a sturdy foundation

Now beauty will be formed from these ashes, forever and ever again

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Assuming makes and ass

Just maybe,
I expected so much,
My expectations were to high.
I probably thought to highly,
Just probably the line was to high,
Something way beyond your reach.
Most likely just expecting,
Something as such,
To hope,
To wish,
To dream,
That you could ever really care,
Yes, Truly,
My expectations were far to high,
The bar you would never reach.
So, I guess I see,
That thinking so highly,
So notably,
So surely,
Of your abilities fell short,
Shorter than a hill,
Short of two inches from a foot.
I most likely,
Should have never assumed,
Or even estimated,
You could rise to the supposed purpose.
I probably just expected to much…