Ticking Hands, Taking Hands


Tick, tick, tick
The time passes by
Minutes are leaving
Never to return
This little clock
So haunting
Is it mocking
Cursing me
Everything runs away
Never to return
Lost
Alone
Wanting something
Something more
Oh, cruel hands
They do nothing
Nothing but take
In my silence
You shout
Shout at me
Reminding me
Remember
All the things lost
Gone
Never to come again
Tick, tick, tick…

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Forced to Remember


What is this feeling, more than fear?
Encompassing my mind, body and soul.
Enveloped in a darkness, a shattering sense.
Holding myself tightly, keep me together.
I will fall apart, disappear, fade away.
It keeps getting darker.
I can not seem to breathe.
Life is not so simple, to just be okay.
Will it stop, will it end?
The circle, a cycle that continues to spin.
Am I dying here, within my skin?
Just a broken memory.
These demons will not run away so easily.
How shall I live when the pain is invisible to eyes?
Can you heal a wound that is deep inside?
In places no one can see, hidden from even me.
Maybe just a bit longer.
Just moment more.
If I awake today, perhaps I shall try once more.

We did Wish, Once


When did we stop wishing?
Why do we stop dreaming?
The world is so cruel,
The darkness overflowing.
Are we really so weak,
To let all our hopes be shattered?
Is our will to fight so brittle?
The desire to survive does not thrive.
What a world we live in,
What a world we create.
How sad that all that we could be
May never be.
The choices we make,
Through each experience,
All those consequence,
Our destiny is molded.
Will we enjoy victory?
Our remained crushed?

Not Resurrected, but Reborn


Why fix the broken? Why undo what was done?

The shattered me, it’s no longer me. Who I was is not who I am.

What has been done will never define who I am, for I will be more.

Take all the pieces and start over new, begin again, be renewed.

I will be rebuilt from the ashes I was, rising up into the future.

Striving to be something beautiful from the filth forced upon me.

Rise up and bloom oh blossom from the muck you were buried in.

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To Burn or Not to Burn


The only way to gain true wisdom is through the crucible, the fire that does not burn will define and mold you. Will you be pliable, easily created into something beautiful or will you be a mangled, deformed thing who has nothing, for it has all burned to ashes. For one can not be defined by ones experiences, that is not who you are. We can be so much more than we even allow ourselves to be. The fires of each trial are only tools, how we act and react is what will determine who we are. Burning to dust, with nothing to remain, or to dance in the victory of all you could become. That, is the question.

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Rising Warrior


Fighting for a life

Fighting for a breathe

I won’t go down

I’m not alone in this

A battle to be won

A victory in this war

Shattered are my pieces

Forgotten is my soul

But I will begin again

You can not stop me moving

You may have stolen some

Living is my win

I know my future I’d shining

A light burning

I shall rise again

These ashes are molding wings

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Markings, Reminders


Imprinted upon my very souls

Lines etched deeply in my heart

Carved by the times I didn’t have a way

Can you even imagine

An event so traumatic

The images play on repeat

As if they were yesterday

The tragedies of life can pile high

Taking away pieces of me

Leaving seemingly nothing left

You may be thinking

Just move on, get over it

Already

Not on hurt

Or even two

But maybe to scale

A hundred or so to begin with

Each a mark on my being

Trying to live

To not be defined by it all

To more than just survive

And give hope even to those who terrorized me

So every day I work it through

Try so so hard to let it go

To release the white knuckle grasp

Holding on for dear life

And through most of it

Not wanting to be alive

Death and darkness were my dearest friends

And now each day I battle

Taking back the stolen fields

The happenings of my sound mind

To revive a broken heart

Takes more than time

And the when is a point in my life

That is undefined

Can you at least just take my hand

Walk with me awhile

Along the shoreline

The battered land I reside in

Please love this unlovable piece

For this me is all I have

A War Waged Unprepared


I stole myself away before there was nothing left to take.

My heart lay in shattered ruins, the once beautiful city so bright.

Brittle, broken shards of life lingered at my feet.

My soul hung from a tree, the rope drown tightly about the life force.

Is that gruesome thing by the city gates the heart which once rested within my breast?

How could I have let this carnage take place here?

Why was there nothing to defend the most delicate of places there?

I was not prepared to live in the dark and tangled world of bleak despair.

The bloody battle raged for years with nothing I could do.

Tools needed to prepare oneself for such a war I did not have.

But now I am here, in the midst of this ruined city, surrendered.

To my maker, the founder of my foundation.

A hope beyond this refuge pile that seemingly continues grow.

With the maker of beauty in progress I know the future is bright.

I know for sure that something full of light is on the way.

After all this blackness consume, to be refreshed is inspiring.

One day I will find myself shiny and new.

All that I will know shall be of he who has made me whole.

Where the Pain could take me


If I would have known my future

I would have asked to not be born

Beg to be aborted

I know that sounds sick

Maybe a little demented

Life has twisted my perception of it

At least that is how I could feel

The way my thoughts try to wander

But in truth

Life is precious and dear

I have been given so much

Even through the raving storms

Inches upon inches of rain

When I look back at all the pain

I wonder how I made it

I try to stay away

Without running far in the other direction

Stay in the present

Be in this place right here

Trauma and ranges of fear haunt me

Living is a hard feet to accomplish

Each day a trial

But I wake up

I get up and move

My voice is weak to this day

Barely audible above life’s static

I am here

Depending on something greater

To more than get me by

I hope one day I will live more

Living to thrive

That is what I believe

On the other side of it all

No more

Only brighter

Live life lighter Today

For that is all I really have