A War Waged Unprepared

I stole myself away before there was nothing left to take.

My heart lay in shattered ruins, the once beautiful city so bright.

Brittle, broken shards of life lingered at my feet.

My soul hung from a tree, the rope drown tightly about the life force.

Is that gruesome thing by the city gates the heart which once rested within my breast?

How could I have let this carnage take place here?

Why was there nothing to defend the most delicate of places there?

I was not prepared to live in the dark and tangled world of bleak despair.

The bloody battle raged for years with nothing I could do.

Tools needed to prepare oneself for such a war I did not have.

But now I am here, in the midst of this ruined city, surrendered.

To my maker, the founder of my foundation.

A hope beyond this refuge pile that seemingly continues grow.

With the maker of beauty in progress I know the future is bright.

I know for sure that something full of light is on the way.

After all this blackness consume, to be refreshed is inspiring.

One day I will find myself shiny and new.

All that I will know shall be of he who has made me whole.


Was It Me

Did I Wait to long to heal?

Was it too much to just hold as I was? Broken and frail.

Was it all my fault for being hurt, for being shamed?

What could I do?

I had nothing to work with.

There was nothing in me. Nothing at all.

I was nothing. I am nothing.

This is the Battle I fight every moment of every day.

So why couldn’t you love me?

This is me.

A broken porcelain doll, shattered on the floor.

See Unseen

Disappear behind the glass

See what cannot be seen

The heart that is so broken

Feel the light warming inside

Vision of truth and lies reside

Where will you live today

After such a dreaded night

Look deeper then the skin

Or the words people speak

The heart and soul are real

Only there can you find me

To know in not knowing

I sit and ponder
As of yet I even wonder

How do I push forward
How do I move on
Can I keep going

What does it mean to live
To thrive above it all

Alone I cannot do it

I know

I still feel so lost

Even the tragedy has changed
Even if I have grown
To be a different person
In this same shell

This difference
It is strange

I can only lean on my strength
The one standing for me

A fallen spirit

A shattered soul

But only broken
As long as I hold on

Set me free

Free to fly

After it All

In the blood
In the aftermath
In the sorrow

Off all that has happened

What is more then me
What has been

What will I be

All the darkness
I sifted through

Does this pain have


Did it make me


Or am I still weak

After it all

All the bloodshed

Broken souls

Has me essence grown

Rise above

Or fall below

After that massacre

Has there been an after