We did Wish, Once


When did we stop wishing?
Why do we stop dreaming?
The world is so cruel,
The darkness overflowing.
Are we really so weak,
To let all our hopes be shattered?
Is our will to fight so brittle?
The desire to survive does not thrive.
What a world we live in,
What a world we create.
How sad that all that we could be
May never be.
The choices we make,
Through each experience,
All those consequence,
Our destiny is molded.
Will we enjoy victory?
Our remained crushed?

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A War Waged Unprepared


I stole myself away before there was nothing left to take.

My heart lay in shattered ruins, the once beautiful city so bright.

Brittle, broken shards of life lingered at my feet.

My soul hung from a tree, the rope drown tightly about the life force.

Is that gruesome thing by the city gates the heart which once rested within my breast?

How could I have let this carnage take place here?

Why was there nothing to defend the most delicate of places there?

I was not prepared to live in the dark and tangled world of bleak despair.

The bloody battle raged for years with nothing I could do.

Tools needed to prepare oneself for such a war I did not have.

But now I am here, in the midst of this ruined city, surrendered.

To my maker, the founder of my foundation.

A hope beyond this refuge pile that seemingly continues grow.

With the maker of beauty in progress I know the future is bright.

I know for sure that something full of light is on the way.

After all this blackness consume, to be refreshed is inspiring.

One day I will find myself shiny and new.

All that I will know shall be of he who has made me whole.

Was It Me


Did I Wait to long to heal?

Was it too much to just hold as I was? Broken and frail.

Was it all my fault for being hurt, for being shamed?

What could I do?

I had nothing to work with.

There was nothing in me. Nothing at all.

I was nothing. I am nothing.

This is the Battle I fight every moment of every day.

So why couldn’t you love me?

This is me.

A broken porcelain doll, shattered on the floor.

Invisible Mountains and Valleys


There were days I couldn’t climb the ladder,

Or was I even on it at all?

It seems as if I climb so many mountains,

Never reaching the next,

Maybe I had conquered them all.

I seem to be repeating at times,

Falling into valleys, deeper then one should go.

No one can see me here,

Climbing all alone.

Not one person can really understand,

All this sorrow I have born.

The distances I have traversed,

Places I have seen,

In darkness and shadow.

It can be told of all the depths I was pulled out of,

The heights to which I had climbed.

This story of great,

The triumphs and falls,

Are written here on the scars,

The scars on my heart.

Days going by, I sit in darkness


Each morn I awake, trying to make it through each day

How do I keep going, to keep smiling and not just fade away

I am so weak, so frail, no real fight within me

What does it take to not turn back, forsake this bright noonday

Nothing inside can give all that must be given to live each day

I am an empty shell filled with all these broken pieces

In shallow waters I could drown, be as lifeless as I seem

Why keep going, looking around trying to survive and live a dream

I won’t just yet, give out, like a shattered knee

No I will turn to the light, nurse my bitter wounds

For the time being I will just exist here in this dark and dreary room

I can’t fight alone in this blackened world so full of demon envy

To shorten a life that isn’t mine to waste is selfish

What I wouldn’t give to be made new and live a life without fear

Now that will be a day to sing and dance with you my dear

Mine Own Enemy


Deep in my mind

Lie dark and dreaded seeds

Burnt

Black with sorrow

Bitter happenings

Shaming

All a negative nurture

Blooming deception

My brain has turned against me

Breaking my will

With such a thought

A single word

Sent into horrors

Depths unknown

Fears unseen

All made up

In my silly mind

A past is a place to learn

Not live and grow

Especially in shadows

To fight this battle

A daily war

Is trying

I wish I could just sleep

Take away this trial

At least make me less weak

Save me

From myself

Just hope

For a better day

For the truth

Will set me free

I just want to be free

And safe

Truly safe

Take me home

When Facing Darkness Today


Have you ever stood at the edge

Ready to jump

Spring out of fear into darkness

Staring into the abyss

From having just come back

After having looked into it

Gazes

A sharp knowledge within

Facing death

He was always so close by

I am a wreck to admit

Him I do miss

The shadows I fear

Always fear

Will it be fading

The sorrow eating at me

It is sad to know

I still have this dream

To fade away

From this reality

Such a strong pull

Trying to will me to

Taking me back

Into the arms of blackness

Surrender

To the bleakness

Please dear Love

Hope do sing

Hold me tighter

Do not let it take me

I won’t break again

I want joy

To live in love

All surrounding

I need to live

And dream of brighter days

I really don’t

Want to fade today

Like water on stone

Washed away

Be my anchor hold

Keep me close

To suffer through

Make it brighter

My load much lighter

This burden I bear

To you try to release

Let me be free

See Unseen


Disappear behind the glass

See what cannot be seen

The heart that is so broken

Feel the light warming inside

Vision of truth and lies reside

Where will you live today

After such a dreaded night

Look deeper then the skin

Or the words people speak

The heart and soul are real

Only there can you find me

Where the Pain could take me


If I would have known my future

I would have asked to not be born

Beg to be aborted

I know that sounds sick

Maybe a little demented

Life has twisted my perception of it

At least that is how I could feel

The way my thoughts try to wander

But in truth

Life is precious and dear

I have been given so much

Even through the raving storms

Inches upon inches of rain

When I look back at all the pain

I wonder how I made it

I try to stay away

Without running far in the other direction

Stay in the present

Be in this place right here

Trauma and ranges of fear haunt me

Living is a hard feet to accomplish

Each day a trial

But I wake up

I get up and move

My voice is weak to this day

Barely audible above life’s static

I am here

Depending on something greater

To more than get me by

I hope one day I will live more

Living to thrive

That is what I believe

On the other side of it all

No more

Only brighter

Live life lighter Today

For that is all I really have

Just Us


Please,

Let me stay here longer than just a moment

Wrapped up in you

Encamped within your deep embrace

Safe, secure

Warmth radiating all the way through to my soul

Penetrating my tattered heart

Keep me covered up with everything you are

Beloved, let us just be

Let us leave the world behind

Just you and I

Nothing left to fear

Love is all we have, all we are, forever

I am in need to be here, together

Even if it is just for the time being, let it last forever

Just me and you