A sight unclouded


If only I could start all over

Look at everything with clear eyes

With a vision renewed

As if none of this had ever happened

That I didn’t have to see it over

I wonder how it feels

To be free of darkness

Never experiencing the images I see everyday

I just want to know

Experience

Daily life without the horrible dreams

Dark thoughts

Shadows of constant fear.

I want to be set free

Completely

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Wanderlust to Freedom


To wander through the lands and find to where my heart belongs,

Break free from shackles that have held tight from so long ago

Heart, soul, spirit, body all that is my being an more

Then whence had not one but all of these hid away never to be seen

My soul feels broken from all the shameful, bitter days

Each moment held below the surface deep, unable tot take breath

What shelter may I find in the beauty of the world surrounding me

No longer to linger in the wastes of yesterdays battles

A light will lead me forward into a brighter beyond

Shall we feel the hope that was once cut from my being

I find that even in my deplitated state I strive for something more

So now I wish to journey with no destination but the trail I shall walk

Wicked is Its Ways


Beautiful words drip vicariously from your lips, falling to the floor with the sting of poison

What hope is there with the boundaries of who you say you are

The dread of death lingers sickly upon the shadows you leave behind in your wake of destruction

Devastation is the name called out by the vial corpses spread beneath you feet

Shattered souls rising from the ashes destroyed by flames of purest hate

Whoa to those who remain in its presence as one who is corrupt by glory

Those who stumble in the war path of this one that ravages every living force it sees

All those bitter beings will understand dispair in the deepest of realms and in the worst of ways

Fleeting Thoughts, Beautiful


Today

I just sat

Looking out at the world

Wondering

Trapped in thought

A flutter

My eyes are captured

A glance enamored   

Butterfly

Out of nowhere

Full of color

Flitting by

This beautiful dance in air

I was delightfully captured

How lovely

The world does have light

Life

How exquisite 

Life of Misunderstanding


 I didn’t understand that I was broken

I didn’t know what it meant to be shattered

Why did this have to hurt so badly to learn

Even though I had no idea what was wrong

How could I even attempt to fix what was unknown

You never know what you were molded to be

My hope was to ensure no one would know loneliness

Yet I remained the loneliest of them all

Shut away in darkness and fear of life

Believing I was only ever meant to be used

How do you learn a way that is not painful

How do you come to know life beyond pain

Looking Through


What does the window see, gleaming out at the world? Being see through, invisible but some how do solid. A purpose of such depth. An object so unseen, yet given for a reason to give a space, this place wholeness. Brightly lit without a making any in its own way. The door must be a window before one can enter one must peer. Have you seen beyond this shallow pane to find it’s soul depth. For what you perceive beyond the glassy glint may reveal a life in disarray. Are the shutters nailed shut? The drapes tightly drawn? Do you even dare to find the treasures that lady there? Behind my cracking window sills…

A Tail was Told, A Song was Sung


Will the nightmares continue?

Making my brain rot?

Am I falling into madness?

Surrounded on all sides,

My mind is breaking.

Or at least it is the way it seems.

Dance a little dance,

Broken is my tune.

Fa la, la de da, do do.

I will be spinning out of control,

Nothing to grasp,

Not tied down.

Falling, falling faster down,

Where will I land?

The craziness is infesting my dreams.

Will it make or break me?

Or just take me on another ride?

Twisting and turning,

Horrors untold,

Fiendish tails to behold.

Fa la, la de da, do dee.

If this keeps up,

Soon, for sure,

There will be nothing of me!

Markings, Reminders


Imprinted upon my very souls

Lines etched deeply in my heart

Carved by the times I didn’t have a way

Can you even imagine

An event so traumatic

The images play on repeat

As if they were yesterday

The tragedies of life can pile high

Taking away pieces of me

Leaving seemingly nothing left

You may be thinking

Just move on, get over it

Already

Not on hurt

Or even two

But maybe to scale

A hundred or so to begin with

Each a mark on my being

Trying to live

To not be defined by it all

To more than just survive

And give hope even to those who terrorized me

So every day I work it through

Try so so hard to let it go

To release the white knuckle grasp

Holding on for dear life

And through most of it

Not wanting to be alive

Death and darkness were my dearest friends

And now each day I battle

Taking back the stolen fields

The happenings of my sound mind

To revive a broken heart

Takes more than time

And the when is a point in my life

That is undefined

Can you at least just take my hand

Walk with me awhile

Along the shoreline

The battered land I reside in

Please love this unlovable piece

For this me is all I have

A War Waged Unprepared


I stole myself away before there was nothing left to take.

My heart lay in shattered ruins, the once beautiful city so bright.

Brittle, broken shards of life lingered at my feet.

My soul hung from a tree, the rope drown tightly about the life force.

Is that gruesome thing by the city gates the heart which once rested within my breast?

How could I have let this carnage take place here?

Why was there nothing to defend the most delicate of places there?

I was not prepared to live in the dark and tangled world of bleak despair.

The bloody battle raged for years with nothing I could do.

Tools needed to prepare oneself for such a war I did not have.

But now I am here, in the midst of this ruined city, surrendered.

To my maker, the founder of my foundation.

A hope beyond this refuge pile that seemingly continues grow.

With the maker of beauty in progress I know the future is bright.

I know for sure that something full of light is on the way.

After all this blackness consume, to be refreshed is inspiring.

One day I will find myself shiny and new.

All that I will know shall be of he who has made me whole.

Was It Me


Did I Wait to long to heal?

Was it too much to just hold as I was? Broken and frail.

Was it all my fault for being hurt, for being shamed?

What could I do?

I had nothing to work with.

There was nothing in me. Nothing at all.

I was nothing. I am nothing.

This is the Battle I fight every moment of every day.

So why couldn’t you love me?

This is me.

A broken porcelain doll, shattered on the floor.