Her Shade


She was haunted. Haunted by a ghost of the past that seemed more a ghoul.
It shattered her belief in safety, reliance on any other being.
The daft spirit gave her no rest, especially in the dead night.
Her dreams became nightmares and only she could hear the screams.
Poltergeist by a force unseen by all with one exception, her.
It fed off of the fears that poured out from within her.
Will she die alone and lonely with only this shade to morn you?

Chained by the Past


Why dream
Why close my eyes
To face nothing but nightmares
To be haunted
Terror absorbing me
Shear terror
Awakening in shock
Covered in a cold sweat
Shaking body
No comfort for me
Surrounded by darkness
Alone with my despair
I cannot remain in this place
Yet I can not seem to move
Frozen with fear
How do I escape this pain
How do I get out of the past
It seems it will never leave me
It will never release me

With a How


What is called when you want to live, but yearn to die?
What are the words to use when none can describe?
Why does the keep hurting even after the time has gone?
Why must I live those days on a constant repeat?
When these wounds heal, or close, or vanish from sight?
When will my memory recall the joyful times alone?
Where is the place to rest away from haunting dreams?
Where the darkness rest I seem to always be…
How do we fight a seemingly hopeless battle?
How am I to live when I really want to fade away?

Forced to Remember


What is this feeling, more than fear?
Encompassing my mind, body and soul.
Enveloped in a darkness, a shattering sense.
Holding myself tightly, keep me together.
I will fall apart, disappear, fade away.
It keeps getting darker.
I can not seem to breathe.
Life is not so simple, to just be okay.
Will it stop, will it end?
The circle, a cycle that continues to spin.
Am I dying here, within my skin?
Just a broken memory.
These demons will not run away so easily.
How shall I live when the pain is invisible to eyes?
Can you heal a wound that is deep inside?
In places no one can see, hidden from even me.
Maybe just a bit longer.
Just moment more.
If I awake today, perhaps I shall try once more.

A sight unclouded


If only I could start all over

Look at everything with clear eyes

With a vision renewed

As if none of this had ever happened

That I didn’t have to see it over

I wonder how it feels

To be free of darkness

Never experiencing the images I see everyday

I just want to know

Experience

Daily life without the horrible dreams

Dark thoughts

Shadows of constant fear.

I want to be set free

Completely

A War Waged Unprepared


I stole myself away before there was nothing left to take.

My heart lay in shattered ruins, the once beautiful city so bright.

Brittle, broken shards of life lingered at my feet.

My soul hung from a tree, the rope drown tightly about the life force.

Is that gruesome thing by the city gates the heart which once rested within my breast?

How could I have let this carnage take place here?

Why was there nothing to defend the most delicate of places there?

I was not prepared to live in the dark and tangled world of bleak despair.

The bloody battle raged for years with nothing I could do.

Tools needed to prepare oneself for such a war I did not have.

But now I am here, in the midst of this ruined city, surrendered.

To my maker, the founder of my foundation.

A hope beyond this refuge pile that seemingly continues grow.

With the maker of beauty in progress I know the future is bright.

I know for sure that something full of light is on the way.

After all this blackness consume, to be refreshed is inspiring.

One day I will find myself shiny and new.

All that I will know shall be of he who has made me whole.

The Haunting Relm


Awakened with fear on my breath, sweat caresses my entire body. My heart rapidly beats as I lie here trying to distinguish reality from fiction. The horrors in my mind unwind around me, falling away in to falsehood. Yet, a shake to my core. The truth is, it may not have been real, but I was there, living that pain and terror. I cannot shake the memories that threaten to consume. Just when you think you are safe, when you can confront the nightmarish past…it rips into your flesh, as a fresh wound. I continue to tremble through each moment I remain awake, fearing sleep, even more so, afraid to face the day. Even when I am awake I can feel the cold chill creeping up my spine. Will these haunting’s ever leave? Or chase me till eternity?