Invisible Mountains and Valleys

There were days I couldn’t climb the ladder,

Or was I even on it at all?

It seems as if I climb so many mountains,

Never reaching the next,

Maybe I had conquered them all.

I seem to be repeating at times,

Falling into valleys, deeper then one should go.

No one can see me here,

Climbing all alone.

Not one person can really understand,

All this sorrow I have born.

The distances I have traversed,

Places I have seen,

In darkness and shadow.

It can be told of all the depths I was pulled out of,

The heights to which I had climbed.

This story of great,

The triumphs and falls,

Are written here on the scars,

The scars on my heart.


It wasn’t you, it wasn’t them, but I who got me there

You know it wasn’t you who I can blame in aiding me
even if you put me through this shame
made me take this journey in order to find my way
but it wasn’t you who decided to take this way

It wasn’t you beside me as I limped down the path before me
I was all alone
no word of love or hope I heard near me
No it most definitely wasn’t you who I trusted to help me here

It wasn’t you who shared my blood down many lines
no character to support this body falling apart
this loving feeling was just a fable
far from any truth
of course it wasn’t you of lineage who laid claim here

No one out the past or present or even future
dared take hold of my fleeting soul
all ran away
nothing did you have to say
my hope was in none of you

Me, myself, but more so my beloved
that is were the shifting came
form the spirits glowing
ever knowing
lead to this place of light and love
they shared with me a journey
and experience of my soul
spirited away to safely be
no a healing journey they lead me

Different is the home I reside within today
different from the house of yesterday

Much deeper is the heart residing beneath my breast
true love beats with in my chest
No made by those I’ve seen
Or of foots steps walking all over me

Tis true my wounds were beyond belief
so deep and brutally real
will never change the actual compassion my spirit is meant to be

The bear, so bright

I found myself dreaming today
today of all days
of things I don’t want

Remembering a life
a life that was never lived inside

The dreaming is of lights
twinkling in the sky
smiling down
full of life

The mighty bear gazed upon me
I felt no fear
strength she gave
healing she shared

I know your journey
she seemed to say
with her bright gleaming eyes

Hope I shall give you
on this journey from your past
go on forward
keep up the goodness within
for compassion is your life

Sing now those songs of joy
give the world your love
move onward
move upward
on this path of light and love

Why believe the journeys worth it

This journey of mine is a long and dark path I had to take
At most points I believed in something deep
Something with strength purity and grace
A truth that nothing could turn me from away
I have found that I had walked alone within every stride
How sad to breath each breath with love so deep
Only to find my sorrows are all in vain
The trials are a trivial boast for sinners delight
My darkened dreams haunt me to my core
Breaking even my solid bones
Leaving nothing for me to cling to
As I sink farther below the darkened surface
The only goal of my saddened soul is to die away
Was I ever meant to truly exist
To be an independent spirits fate
Or just the matter for others delight my only strife
Just a doll to play the will of criminals crimes
Now fading fast from the past out of this date and time

Chasing Contentment

The pursuit of happiness. Such a treacherous journey. For everyone who takes it on. It can never be simple. Its as if it’s against the will of the universe for us to be happy, at least perpetually.
Whose happiness do we pursue? What for? Why does it seem like we must choose? One or the other. Can both be? Can all be?
How does one go about this journey? This journey we all try to start.
Why do we started? Why do we purse? Why can it not find us? Why do we have to fight to be happy? Why do we have to work so hard?
How long can it take? Will I ever get there? Has anyone really found it. If so, how do you keep it? Why do we keep it?
What is the price I must pay? Why is it so high so often? Taking this and that for what may make me happy. What they say will make me happy. They tell me this. They tall me that. Who do I listen to? How do I listen to myself? Who am I? Why do I search?
What makes a person happy? What makes me happy? I am a human, we are all the same. If we are all the same why is it different for each of us. Are we really the same? What does it mean to be the same?
How happy can you get?
So many answer could be told. So many more questions that will be asked. The circle of truth, where does it lie?