Chained by the Past


Why dream
Why close my eyes
To face nothing but nightmares
To be haunted
Terror absorbing me
Shear terror
Awakening in shock
Covered in a cold sweat
Shaking body
No comfort for me
Surrounded by darkness
Alone with my despair
I cannot remain in this place
Yet I can not seem to move
Frozen with fear
How do I escape this pain
How do I get out of the past
It seems it will never leave me
It will never release me

With a How


What is called when you want to live, but yearn to die?
What are the words to use when none can describe?
Why does the keep hurting even after the time has gone?
Why must I live those days on a constant repeat?
When these wounds heal, or close, or vanish from sight?
When will my memory recall the joyful times alone?
Where is the place to rest away from haunting dreams?
Where the darkness rest I seem to always be…
How do we fight a seemingly hopeless battle?
How am I to live when I really want to fade away?

Forced to Remember


What is this feeling, more than fear?
Encompassing my mind, body and soul.
Enveloped in a darkness, a shattering sense.
Holding myself tightly, keep me together.
I will fall apart, disappear, fade away.
It keeps getting darker.
I can not seem to breathe.
Life is not so simple, to just be okay.
Will it stop, will it end?
The circle, a cycle that continues to spin.
Am I dying here, within my skin?
Just a broken memory.
These demons will not run away so easily.
How shall I live when the pain is invisible to eyes?
Can you heal a wound that is deep inside?
In places no one can see, hidden from even me.
Maybe just a bit longer.
Just moment more.
If I awake today, perhaps I shall try once more.

The Simple Life


I saw beauty today
As I walk this way
Enlightened by simplicity
Joy in complexity
Nothing as it seems
Freer than my dreams
I needed more of this
To remain in bliss
If only here I’d stay
Keep this peace I pray
Dancing in the light
Delighted in the sight
Will it fly away from me
As a fleeting bird
To only remain a memory
Or much more a story

The Waiting Breath


Do discover a new way
The version unwritten
A path not yet blazed

For what is this world,
If not a place to live in wonder.

To breath in each new day,
As if it were your very last.

Unbroken
Unwritten
Overwhelmed with joy

Do not believe that the age of discovery has passed.
Do not carry on as if you have known all the unknown.

We have yet to reveal the truth,
In all its raw beauty,
Its actually.
Beyond a mere belief.

This was never meant to be a moment lived standing still.
Do you not see,
The world keeps on spinning
As you await a reason to be alive.

Just simply live.

Capturing Your Smile


Pasted pictures cover the walls
Memories of long ago
Each precious moment with you
Captured forever
Frozen in time are you and I
Those few times I smiled
When you were close to me
Wishing I could melt into them
These images starring back
Showing a special time
I can not keep living there
In the past places
Hoping to be free from the pain
Grab the camera dear
Let’s take an adventure
Smile for me my love
We will make more joyful memories

Ghosts in the Garden


I use to have a garden
I planted every spring
It was truly something to see
So proud of the color
I would invite you to glimpse
To relax in the gentle glow
If you came today
It may give you quite a scare
For the shades of light
They have all become dark
Dying plants littered about
Withered trees crying out
No this place has no light
A garden of death residing

Wayward Wonder


I once was filled with wonder
The desire to explore
The first to suggest an expedition
To search the farthest places
Jumping from the pages of books
To the world of color surrounding
Gaze upward and dream
That was once a long time ago
Before
Before it all turned dark
Can we ever return to such freedom
The tender dreams of innocence
A safe place to explore
Feel secure enough to travel once more

Going Mad


To be insane
A thin line between creative genius
Why do we dare not cross?
Is it not a freedom?
A mind unlocked
Or broken?
I feel so close to either side
It’s like my home
I have thanksgiving there
Every year
A place to unfold
And unwind
Shall I leap into to nothingness
Escape
From all the faux
From all the fads
Just unlucky they say
In my mind
Some days
It is nothing but dreary grey
A hue of black
All is chaos when color invades
What hope is there?
Recreated tragedies
What a lovely doll
Dressed up in silks and lace
Broken and
Shattered
Bruised and
Battered
Unwanted dreams haunting continuously
Pretty little liars
Decked out to the tens
Or are those nines
Brittle bones are rattling
Dance to this tune
Insanity
A lovely place to dream

Worthy Woman


Power

A darkness that consumes the hearts of men

Turning the purest into the most tainted

Sadness

Is the path that you shall walk

The burden of never enough

You will never be good enough in this world

My body

Is not perfect

It will never be

But why should that matter

This is me

I am no one else

I do not need to compare

I do not need to share

This is my temple

Not a corrupted bar for brutal syndicates

You can not touch

You can not see

What belongs to me

My hair

Is not perfect

It will never be

But I will let it be my crown

To express my soul with each strand

Being tender with my blessings

I am a woman

A lady

My skin

Is not perfect

It will never be

Whatever does that really mean

What is perfection

Purity is always refined

But flawless we should remain

My experience

Does not define me

Control

Or entrap me

Not a cage to hold me confined

This black and brittle world will not change me

Not amount of richest can by you class

No brand or product can construct true beauty

Nothing you do will hide the filth inside

Be beautiful

Be modest

Be bright

Be courageous

Be truthful

Be a lady refined