Ticking Hands, Taking Hands


Tick, tick, tick
The time passes by
Minutes are leaving
Never to return
This little clock
So haunting
Is it mocking
Cursing me
Everything runs away
Never to return
Lost
Alone
Wanting something
Something more
Oh, cruel hands
They do nothing
Nothing but take
In my silence
You shout
Shout at me
Reminding me
Remember
All the things lost
Gone
Never to come again
Tick, tick, tick…

Her Shade


She was haunted. Haunted by a ghost of the past that seemed more a ghoul.
It shattered her belief in safety, reliance on any other being.
The daft spirit gave her no rest, especially in the dead night.
Her dreams became nightmares and only she could hear the screams.
Poltergeist by a force unseen by all with one exception, her.
It fed off of the fears that poured out from within her.
Will she die alone and lonely with only this shade to morn you?

Chained by the Past


Why dream
Why close my eyes
To face nothing but nightmares
To be haunted
Terror absorbing me
Shear terror
Awakening in shock
Covered in a cold sweat
Shaking body
No comfort for me
Surrounded by darkness
Alone with my despair
I cannot remain in this place
Yet I can not seem to move
Frozen with fear
How do I escape this pain
How do I get out of the past
It seems it will never leave me
It will never release me

With a How


What is called when you want to live, but yearn to die?
What are the words to use when none can describe?
Why does the keep hurting even after the time has gone?
Why must I live those days on a constant repeat?
When these wounds heal, or close, or vanish from sight?
When will my memory recall the joyful times alone?
Where is the place to rest away from haunting dreams?
Where the darkness rest I seem to always be…
How do we fight a seemingly hopeless battle?
How am I to live when I really want to fade away?

Forced to Remember


What is this feeling, more than fear?
Encompassing my mind, body and soul.
Enveloped in a darkness, a shattering sense.
Holding myself tightly, keep me together.
I will fall apart, disappear, fade away.
It keeps getting darker.
I can not seem to breathe.
Life is not so simple, to just be okay.
Will it stop, will it end?
The circle, a cycle that continues to spin.
Am I dying here, within my skin?
Just a broken memory.
These demons will not run away so easily.
How shall I live when the pain is invisible to eyes?
Can you heal a wound that is deep inside?
In places no one can see, hidden from even me.
Maybe just a bit longer.
Just moment more.
If I awake today, perhaps I shall try once more.

Capturing Your Smile


Pasted pictures cover the walls
Memories of long ago
Each precious moment with you
Captured forever
Frozen in time are you and I
Those few times I smiled
When you were close to me
Wishing I could melt into them
These images starring back
Showing a special time
I can not keep living there
In the past places
Hoping to be free from the pain
Grab the camera dear
Let’s take an adventure
Smile for me my love
We will make more joyful memories

Invisible Mountains and Valleys


There were days I couldn’t climb the ladder,

Or was I even on it at all?

It seems as if I climb so many mountains,

Never reaching the next,

Maybe I had conquered them all.

I seem to be repeating at times,

Falling into valleys, deeper then one should go.

No one can see me here,

Climbing all alone.

Not one person can really understand,

All this sorrow I have born.

The distances I have traversed,

Places I have seen,

In darkness and shadow.

It can be told of all the depths I was pulled out of,

The heights to which I had climbed.

This story of great,

The triumphs and falls,

Are written here on the scars,

The scars on my heart.

Mine Own Enemy


Deep in my mind

Lie dark and dreaded seeds

Burnt

Black with sorrow

Bitter happenings

Shaming

All a negative nurture

Blooming deception

My brain has turned against me

Breaking my will

With such a thought

A single word

Sent into horrors

Depths unknown

Fears unseen

All made up

In my silly mind

A past is a place to learn

Not live and grow

Especially in shadows

To fight this battle

A daily war

Is trying

I wish I could just sleep

Take away this trial

At least make me less weak

Save me

From myself

Just hope

For a better day

For the truth

Will set me free

I just want to be free

And safe

Truly safe

Take me home

When Facing Darkness Today


Have you ever stood at the edge

Ready to jump

Spring out of fear into darkness

Staring into the abyss

From having just come back

After having looked into it

Gazes

A sharp knowledge within

Facing death

He was always so close by

I am a wreck to admit

Him I do miss

The shadows I fear

Always fear

Will it be fading

The sorrow eating at me

It is sad to know

I still have this dream

To fade away

From this reality

Such a strong pull

Trying to will me to

Taking me back

Into the arms of blackness

Surrender

To the bleakness

Please dear Love

Hope do sing

Hold me tighter

Do not let it take me

I won’t break again

I want joy

To live in love

All surrounding

I need to live

And dream of brighter days

I really don’t

Want to fade today

Like water on stone

Washed away

Be my anchor hold

Keep me close

To suffer through

Make it brighter

My load much lighter

This burden I bear

To you try to release

Let me be free

Where the Pain could take me


If I would have known my future

I would have asked to not be born

Beg to be aborted

I know that sounds sick

Maybe a little demented

Life has twisted my perception of it

At least that is how I could feel

The way my thoughts try to wander

But in truth

Life is precious and dear

I have been given so much

Even through the raving storms

Inches upon inches of rain

When I look back at all the pain

I wonder how I made it

I try to stay away

Without running far in the other direction

Stay in the present

Be in this place right here

Trauma and ranges of fear haunt me

Living is a hard feet to accomplish

Each day a trial

But I wake up

I get up and move

My voice is weak to this day

Barely audible above life’s static

I am here

Depending on something greater

To more than get me by

I hope one day I will live more

Living to thrive

That is what I believe

On the other side of it all

No more

Only brighter

Live life lighter Today

For that is all I really have