I want to see beautiful things
Tour the world see something new
Bright and lovely
Living in colors only imagined
I want to be free of the dark
No more shadows
Only light filled days
Bring me flowers of every kind
Trees glistening with life
My feet in the sandy beach
The ocean before me dancing merrily
Can this be more than a dream
Please my love
Travel with me in beauties delight
Why close my eyes
To face nothing but nightmares
To be haunted
Terror absorbing me
Awakening in shock
Covered in a cold sweat
No comfort for me
Surrounded by darkness
Alone with my despair
I cannot remain in this place
Yet I can not seem to move
Frozen with fear
How do I escape this pain
How do I get out of the past
It seems it will never leave me
It will never release me
Clinging to a hope
Feeling this darkness creep
One of those moments
I know what not to choose
To not feel
To go beyond numb
What is this madness that I can not escape
Why fix the broken? Why undo what was done?
The shattered me, it’s no longer me. Who I was is not who I am.
What has been done will never define who I am, for I will be more.
Take all the pieces and start over new, begin again, be renewed.
I will be rebuilt from the ashes I was, rising up into the future.
Striving to be something beautiful from the filth forced upon me.
Rise up and bloom oh blossom from the muck you were buried in.
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To wander through the lands and find to where my heart belongs,
Break free from shackles that have held tight from so long ago
Heart, soul, spirit, body all that is my being an more
Then whence had not one but all of these hid away never to be seen
My soul feels broken from all the shameful, bitter days
Each moment held below the surface deep, unable tot take breath
What shelter may I find in the beauty of the world surrounding me
No longer to linger in the wastes of yesterdays battles
A light will lead me forward into a brighter beyond
Shall we feel the hope that was once cut from my being
I find that even in my deplitated state I strive for something more
So now I wish to journey with no destination but the trail I shall walk
Like a butterfly, one day I will emerge from this cocoon. Breaking free from the bindings entangling me. Wrapped around me so very tightly it seems unreal. No life could survive trapped behind those many layers. The simple caterpillar that I had been for so long, will vanish. Inching through life I did, each and every day. Taking whatever was thrown my way and using it to push on through. Always thinking myself small and useless and ugly. When the time came I felt this great pain. I found myself being covered from top to bottom. I couldn’t take life any more, I began to hide myself away. Surrounded by suffering, such agonizing pain courses through all that am. I begin to even question what that means, who am I? Does it even matter? Will it get better? Will it ever be worth it? These question may be answered when I finally emerge from my broken casing. Some day, perhaps I will see the beauty from all my pain. Then I will fly away, free from the darkness. I will soar into my dreams of a new and bright place. I will no longer be held to the earth by gravity. Some day soon, that will be me.